Blips
READY, WILLING AND WORTHY
Creating Spaciousness for New Possibilities
Some time ago I heard a wonderful song by Richard Mekdeci called “Ready, Willing and Worthy.” So struck was I by the title, that I found I could focus on nothing else for the remainder of the event. I am always on the lookout for the simple and effective things in life. And “Ready, Willing and Worthy” immediately captured my attention as a simple and effective tool for exploring and making changes in your work and personal life.
Here is how it works:
1. READY
In thinking about this first step of readiness, what immediately comes to mind is a race. In almost all racing events I have witnessed, the starter begins the race with some version of “Ready. (or “on your marks”), Get Set. Go!” Think of the chaos if the starter simply yelled just “go.” Some people would be ready, others would not. I suspect there would be a bit of jostling and maybe even people who would trip and fall over one another.
Being ready means having a well thought out plan and having what you need to fully implement that plan. All too often, our male tendency is to jump right in to an idea and then suffer the consequences of not testing our readiness.
Example: Joseph decided that his company needed a new marketing strategy. His first instinct was to create a brand new four-color brochure to grab the attention of buyers. In pricing this piece, he learned that the brochure he designed was going to cost more than $10,000.
As he was writing the deposit check so the printer could begin the work, he asked himself a money-saving question: “Is there anything else I need to know before I commit to this decision?” What he realized in asking himself this question was that he had jumped right in without being absolutely certain that this was the best move.
So Joseph did some further research and what he learned came as a bit of a surprise. He found out that companies in other markets were having more success using postcards instead of brochures. Joseph also learned that postcards were not currently being used in his area. In addition, when he thought more carefully about his current brochure, he realized there was absolutely nothing wrong with the one he was already using.
The result: For half the price of the brochures, Joseph sent a series of postcards to prospects and clients in his area. Within four months his company picked up four large clients and nine smaller firms as customers. He had never seen that kind of return when sending brochures over the past ten years.
To test your readiness, ask yourself these questions:
- What else do I need to know to make this decision?
- What have I overlooked?
- What would make me even more ready?
- Do I have everything I need to make this change?
So, are you ready?
2. WILLING
Once you determine you are ready, it is important to ask yourself if you are really willing to do what it will take to fully implement the change.
Example: Paul decided to add a new niche to his firm. After careful research, he determined that the financial services sector would be a great focus to add to the business mix. Through his digging, Paul gained a clear picture on this potential market, the type of needs they had, and even a starting list of 1200 prospects to contact. He had no hesitation in saying he was ready!
This second step stopped him in his tracks. In asking himself “Am I willing to do what it will take to achieve the desired result?” he came back with a resounding “NO.” In carefully thinking about what it would take for his staff to fully develop the financial services market, he realized how much attention that would divert away from their existing clients. He was also not willing to add additional staff or shift any existing resources to make this happen. What became clear was a strong desire to make better use of their existing base of prospects and clients.
The result: His business grew by more than 50% in the current niche and they became know as the “go to” experts in their industry.
To test your willingness, ask yourself these questions:
- Am I willing to do what it takes to achieve the desired result?
- How willing am I to make adjustments along the way?
- Am I willing to accept that this change may not turn out the way I think it will?
So, are you willing?
3. WORTHY
Two quotes that refer to worthiness are “You’ve gotta believe to receive” and “Energy flows where the mind goes.”
Example: Chuck had been trying to grow his book of business for three years. And for three years he consistently maintained the same level of sales. He was clearly ready. He proved his willingness by consistently sticking with and adjusting his plan during that time. Yet, nothing happened. That is, until he identified and removed a self-imposed roadblock.
You see, Chuck had heard a few prospects and clients refer to the services his company provided as a “necessary evil.” What he had not realized, until he asked himself “Do I really believe in what I am doing?” was that he was buying into their perspective. So Chuck made a list of all of the benefits of the service provided by his and company and reviewed it every day. At first, he was filled with doubt, but over time his thoughts shifted to a firm belief that his service was valuable, powerful, and of huge benefit to his clients.
The result: Within six months, Chuck added six new high-volume clients and more than doubled his sales volume.
To test your beliefs about worthiness, ask yourself these questions:
- Do I really, truly believe in what I am doing?
- What do I need to shift in my thinking to truly believe I am worthy of the success I desire?
So, are you worthy?
Three simple and powerful questions: Am I ready? Am I willing? Am I worthy? If the answer to all three is a heartfelt YES, then I know you are on your way to making a powerful changes in any aspect of your life that you choose.
Above article for The Men’s Room is brought to you by Scott Wintrip
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Being at Your Best
Like a lot of guys, I’m someone who needs a lot of space. In fact, it’s one of my most basic needs. By “need” I don’t mean in the sense of being needy, but as in “that which must be present in my life for me to be at my very best.” We each have our unique list of what those are: to have order, to be informed, to be appreciated, to be in control, to accomplish, etc. My big one is space.
I see my need for space as having several dimensions:
- Physical – ensuring that my environment is uncluttered and organized
- Emotional – being complete with events in the past; letting go of resentment and resignation
- Intellectual – letting go of over-analyzing things
- Spiritual – connecting with something much greater than myself; experiencing generosity, possibility, and gratitude
- Time – having blocks of free time in my schedule to explore new opportunities and deal with the unexpected
When I get my space, I have access to one of my deepest values, which is peace. Sometimes, it’s considered a “guy-thing” to need alone time, like withdrawing into our “cave” for a while. However, when my need for space is satisfied, I’m happier and more fully available for others, especially those I love. What is it for you? What are your top non-negotiable needs? Taking this further, what are the top non-negotiable needs of your significant other? Are you willing to participate in satisfying those needs?
Sometimes, personal needs are confused with values. I used to think that space and peace were two of my values. For some people, they can be, but here’s the key distinction: getting our needs met gives us satisfaction, whereas honoring our values give us fulfillment. If I’m hungry and eat, my “need for nourishment” is satisfied. If I continue to eat, however, I feel bloated and likely get sick. Not so with peace. I could be in a peaceful state all day long!
Here are some additional thoughts on personal needs, as they relate to men and women, that you may want to consider:
- We tend to think that others have our same, exact needs, and that, when we help them meet theirs, then they should help us meet ours. This is a myth.
- There are two relationship myths taking place between men and women. Some women believe that a husband should know their wife’s personal needs without being told what they are. Moreover, if the woman were to tell their husband, then that would ruin it! For example, my wife has a need to be cared for. It took me a while to figure this out. She would linger and sometimes hover while I worked away on a project. When I asked her “what’s up?” she would get upset and leave the room. I finally understood that, for our specific relationship, all I have to do is hold her for a few moments and make her feel like she’s the most important person in my life. I wish I had learned this sooner! Ladies, stop the guessing work and tell your husband exactly what you need from them. My wife was skeptical at first when I suggested this to her. Thankfully, though, she was willing to try it and now sees more benefits than drawbacks.
- Somehow, we have romanticized the notion that our significant other will meet all of our needs. This can be a heavy burden, though. Ideally, we want to get many (if not most) of our needs met outside of our relationship with our significant other. When we are needless, then our significant other will naturally be inclined to meet our needs from the lightness and spaciousness that being needless creates.
- Whenever I see my wife or my daughters acting in a strange or bizarre way, I used to go into judgment and righteousness over it. After understanding this notion of needs, however, I now ask myself: what do they need right now? Is it reasonable? Is it effortless for me to give it to them? This allows me to stop the judgment, to remain centered, and to respond vs. react.
I invite you to do a simple exercise. Take a sheet of paper and make three columns. In the left column, write down 5 adjectives that describe you at your worst. In the right column, write 5 adjectives that describe you at your best. In the middle, write down 5 things that must be present in your life for you to be at your very best. You now have a simple tool that can help you transition from being at your worst to being at your best! Simply look at the middle column and determine which need(s) must be satisfied. This is an especially effective exercise when couples work on it together.
We become powerful in our lives and in our relationships with loved ones when we actively manage our personal needs vs. letting our needs control us!
Above article for The Men’s Room is brought to you by Eddie Marmol